Walk Fast Look Worried Carry a Sheet of Paper

Back in my days as a corporate employee, I followed a simple rule for survival: Walk fast, look worried, and carry a sheet of paper. You could be making a dash for the candy machine, but people would assume you were a man on a mission and wouldn't bother you. They would preface every conversation with, "I know you are really busy, but could you help me..." I loved the image of being someone not to be messed with. I did do my work, but people imagined that I went above and beyond the call of duty every waking hour.

Fast forward to my experience today in the line at the post office. You've been there. The guy in front of me was collecing rates for mailing imaginary boxes with multiple variables for weight, dimensions, content, etc. The post office employee placidly calculated each variable and never gave any indication that she was trying to hurry him along, or any indication that she was aware of the rapidly growing line waiting for service. Despite my constant weight shifting, head rubbing and occasional loud sighs, she answered questions for the guy until he finally asked his last one. He folded up his notes and left. She nodded for me to approach the counter with the same placid expression on her face. I stepped up to the counter prepared. I had two boxes to mail. Each were securely sealed with addresses marked clearly in their appropriate places. I knew the type of postage I desired and had my money in hand. We finished the transaction in a brief period of time. I said thanks and stepped away. She expressed no appreciation that I was an efficient post office customer. I suspect that if I hadn't been ready, she would have spent as much time as I needed to get my boxes mailed. Post offices frustrate me.

But as much as I am frustrated by the post office, I am envious of something. In my current life as a minister, I still try to operate in walk fast, look worried, and carry a sheet of paper mode. I want to execute my responsibilities without being messed with. I want people to think I am awesome; I just want them to do it quickly from a distance. I am a master of the 15 second meaningful connection. A handshake, maybe a hug, a little shallow conversation, then move on to the next one. Very efficient. Easy to look awesome. Big smile on the face, or a look of concern or empathy if that is what the connection calls for.

But it's not ministry. It's working the room. I need to get more like the post office lady. Gotta give each person the time they need to get where they need to be. That's gonna be hard for me.